Friendship et al :)

I have always been curious to understand how people become "friends". In some cases it is desperation, in some it is circumstantial, some others we "choose".

But most of my best friends, who have been so for years now, have been those that i never felt important at the outset. Neither were they very charming or totally entertaining.

But with time i found that these were the people i connected to at a soul level and with whom even sharing the naked truth wouldnt make me cringe. I have realized all those relationships which God chooses for me have always been the best i could ever ask for. Even in friendships those that i never consciously befriended have always turned out to be very special ones.

One common thing among all of them is that, i wouldnt mind being dumb with them and i would never fear telling them even my dark secrets coz i m perfectly confident that they would never be judgemental about me.

Is this a quality we all crave in friends. Is this the comfort level we expect with everyone we encounter. I wonder what brings in that comfort level. How do you take friends from being just there to the next level where they mean everythign to u.

So this makes me first analyze what friends are.

I have always felt that we need friends to keep at bay our loneliness for one, and to keep life full of colours with a new expression of life in them.

Seeing same things differently and appreciating it maybe attracts me to friends.

I have always felt i make friends out of instincts. i just "know" if they can be the ones i can relate to or not.

This does not mean i have not made mistakes in choosing my friends. Yes indeed i have had my share of pains in friendship to the say the least :)

But i m so glad i made them. Now i have a benchmark to compare and see whether i m in a relationship adding value to my life. Friends for me are the ones i can respect them for what they are. I hate being prejudiced about anythign at all. I love accepting them with their flaws intact. :)

Maybe the foremost thing i would look for in friends is that someone with whom i can talk to. Just about anythign at all. Even the most mundane topics would turn into animated discussions if you were to connect to the person.

Well there are some friendships too which become an essential part of your life for no particular reason.

Deepest bonds are formed i guess with those with whom you can connect to with your soul. I guess those are the friends who would be your "alter ego".

It gives a great amount of strength just to remind myself of all those people with whom i share such a bonding and whom i can fall back on anyday/anytime!

This reminds of how much i have regretted some company. I hate anybody who would ever drain me out. Any negative feeling i seem to catch it pretty quickly :( :(

Prolonged exposure to such feelings make me slightly shaken up.

So I'm in a conscious effort to distance myself from all the negativity.

C'mon there is just one life and let's live it up.

I am not even sure what's in store for tomorrow. If i possibly can let me share a piece of my heart and maybe a heartfelt hug or a few kind words. Please do not confuse flattery or fake appreciation by kind words.

If tomorrow i did die, i would not want to regret having hurt someone intentionally.

I feel guilt is to too heavy to carry on. So i believe in keeping things simple.

If i possibly can do good, so be it. Else i did rather shut my mouth.

One principle of life i have discovered , "What goes around, comes around". Since i would rather not be at the recipient end of any of these i dare not initiate any on my own!

Well, in all this i do not intend to say that do not defend yourself. Ofcourse one should!

Most importantly I love myself more than anyone else in this world. If anybody would make me love myself lesser, i would rather do away with that friendship/relationship.

What good is it if it can't make you appreciate yourself!

Okie, i guess too much overdoze for a day! :P

Please do let me know your views.

Well, this post was dedicated to all my best friends :)

Have a nice day tomorrow all of u!

Gnite for now:)

--Shreya

Alone or Lonely

I have always wondered what's the diff b/w the two....

Here is my take on it...

To be honest i don know what does the dictionary say and for a fact i don care :P

To digress a lil, i always feel language is meant only to convey meanings and emotions....its immaterial what is the per se meaning...as long as the intended recipients get the message loud and clear :) :)

Ok, back to alone/lonely, in both cases you lack company. The difference being whether we choose it or does it happen.

Pondering a lil deeply on the same , i feel most things in life happen 'coz we choose it. Nothing would happen to us without our consent, aint it that way?

Ok Alone = choosing to be by myself and lonely = when i am left with noone around me and it may not have been my choice.

Oflate i did find myself lonely; maybe partially it was contributed by my environment given the change that happened in my life.

Any change i have noticed, though i have accepted it whole heartedly, somehow deep within there's a part of me which is still having a strong foothold in the past.

The change requires acceptance from within and is a long and slow process. I have always been impatient with the outcomes of change and mayb thus results in me feeling a lil lost.

Many a times i find myself alone amidst the most entertaining crowds, i wonder why.

Sometimes i choose to be alone, there is a part of me which wants to speak to myself.

I call it the "alone time" and i treasure those moments. Though i m silent all the while with/without thoughts running on my mind, there is a deeper communication happening within. It just needs a quiet mind to listen.

Nevertheless alone/lonely i convert them to be by choice :)

I prefer making my choices in life coz in the end u wud feel responsible and "choose" to be happy :)

Either way, i jus cant stop loving myself ;)

Someone once said, a person who cant love himself can never love another.

I have truly internalized this line i suppose ;)

As i end the post, the song chinnama chilakkamma plays on :)

jus love the song :)

i'll enjoy my song and hit the bed!

--happy reading and as always eager 2 hear ur comments/views

shreya :)

Oh my God!! It rains again!!!

I have always wondered if i like the rain or do i dislike it. I have never been able to decide. It always depends where i am and whether i "want" to get drenched and most importantly the intensity of rain.

I know I know way too many conditions to decide if i can like rain or not!! But cant help it :)

Today as i see the whole weather so gloomy and cloudy i'm reminded of the innumerous times when i have got drenched when i used 2 return home in my last company.

How ridiculously optimistic i used to be when i used to set out all geared up with my raincoat and my poor scooty to attack the never-seeeming-to-end rain!!

I used to always assume it would stop raining. But as ever it used to stop only when my scooty would land me home :( :(

The only thing missing in my attire was a wiper to my spectacles :) :) How awesome would it look!! loool

Now, i will tell u why i like the rain and why i dont.

When i see the rain sitting indoors, i find it very amusing and interesting, emotional etc.. a gust of emotions would engulf me. I am all excited to get drenched in the rain.

Then i set out all courageously into the rain, with my scooty or without it...

Let's first take my scooty thing...
I m all so excited that i wud get drenched and it would be fun.
What starts as a drizzle all of a sudden is a thunderstorm only to end when i would get off my scooty :( :(
All through it's soooo cold i m shivering and i hate rains then!!
i can hardly grip my handlebar...forget enjoying the rain...
and i wanna listen 2 music...and i m paranoid the rain would screw up my mob/ipod :(

to top it all, i jus don understand y does all the gutter water gets attracted only 2 me when i m riding :(....every car/auto/bus name anything else manage to trouble me...even a cyclewala manages to splash water on me...x-(
and the probability of the water ending on me is highest if i m wearing a light coloured dress :(

soo finally no music, and it's brrrrrrr cold....and the dirty muddy clumsy water and the all drenched dogs...who are sooo amused 2 c me ride....gosh!!!!!!

ok now when i'm nt on my dearest scooty but i m on foot, god save me then!
i don understand how this works....but everytime i m farthest from my home, somehow the raingods are very amused.x-(
and guess what happens next...
most occassions, no umbrella...
taking shelter in sum shop....wondering which auto guy comes around...
and when its drizzling...i venture out as though on a war...asking every other auto guy if he is ready to drop by to my area...
the reactions are the most entertaining to all viewers...the auto drivers look at us like we'r from sum other planet...and the worst of all...no reaction at all....they jus turn away as though i spoke in Greek!!!
Goodness save me...
Time is running out...and no bugger seems to be ready to even understand which area i'm talking about!! :(
Then comes the saviour...prayer...pray hard...to alll possible gods...that u reach home in time...else mom will fry u alive :P
and for that to happen we need an auto...so pray hard for that...
somehow miraculously sum fellow nods his head and turns the meter upside down!! phew!!!!!!!!
muddy streets...gawking people...no autos...need a better reason to hate rains!! :(
and add sum  1 1/2 for the auto guy who demands it as it would be his birth rite by saying "male madam...yaru bartare ashtu doora" ok agreed boss!! move it!!
u wud pay him 3 1/2 instead in that moment ;)

anyway so my conclusion is...
i love rains when i m indoors and none of the above is happening :)
hate it when i m in any of the above situations :(

lemme knw ur views on rains...if u like or hate it...
keep u posted :)