Perfecto Imperfections

There were a zillion times
i aspired for a perfect life
a perfect childhood, perfect friends
perfect college, perfect education
perfect relationships..

in all of them one thing was common
it was beautiful and meaningful
only 'coz it wasnt perfect..
if it were all so perfect and proper
life would have been boring

each incomplete and imperfection
taught me tolerance and acceptance
if life could be all as i wished
wouldnt life get all fuzzy

love life with all it's
clumsiness and ambiguities.
'coz it adds a flavor and spice
which makes it delicious!

makes each day memorable and special..

Onsite trip - part 2

part 2 onsite trip:

And so, i finally reached Dubai. Phew!! I did complete my half marathon or so i thought.
Little did i know a 14 hour flight would feel like 14 light years!
And so i start taking in the feel of the airport. The aha experience was no doubt there...and each little thing i saw, i saw it in wonder :)
A gang of girls were ahead of me to collect their boarding passes.
They mostly looked like gypsy to me :P
They all travelled with me from Blore...and had all the so-called-Indian stuff on them - Mehandi, Kurtas and what not!
It was weird, i was wearing all US clothes(all thanks to my sis :D ) and standing in line and they wearing Indian clothes...
Maybe that's what is called globalization :P
And so i finally get my boarding pass...
go through a security check...well lucky me i didnt have to remove my shoes there :D
ok so i drag myself and my big fat luggage onto my gate...
oh ya it was a long walk...nice one though...
it hardly looked like an airport! it had all sorts of stuff...it was more like a mall...
there were these cute cars to take people inside the airport...
i so wanted to ride it...but i chose 2 walk....
and then...there were these hugeee palm trees all around me...i just loved the sight....
u name it and u have it...all kinds of stuff to shop...none of which i shopped though :P
a paradise if u wanna buy liqour i guess...well it did look like most people were enjoying just the sight of it... ;)

and so finally i settle down there...with all kinds of people around me...
i was both excited and nervous...
i still had almost 45 mins to take off....
so just like the rest of them, i open my laptop and try to see if i can connect to the internet...
well no...thanks to my screwed up laptop....it just would not connect!
i hate it when machines get moody...arrghhh :(
what else do i do...
sit and play solitaire...i played and played and played...
and finally we are called for boarding...
in the order of our zones....
since mine was in zone 4, i wait till the very end...
one very nice thing about Americans is that they are very gentlemanly...good for girls like me...
who carry luggage more than their weight :D
so i get quite a lot of help in settling down :D
here too i get a window seat...next to the wing...
i loved the sight...
this flight was indeed huge to say the least....
sitting next to the wing gives u a feeling of flying...
u suddenly feel the wings belong to u and ur actually touching the clouds...floating weightlessly through it...
to say the least...felt light...
so all the regualr announcements start..and so does the services on flight....
taking advice from mom and sis..i order ginger ale...to keep myself off the air sickness if any.. :P
and so they ask for food preferences...and i said asian veg...
and so when i get my meal...i realized the gravy didnt look veggie...and turned out to be a chicken :( :(
well..
so all thru the 14+ hours i survive on tea, pepsi, fruits, and water...
and so i tasted my first boredom on this journey...
i explore the movies...
watch some...
play some games...
sleep..wake up...sleep...groggy...a stiff neck...and then finally my body needs a stretch...
and so i had to wake up both my neighbours...:(
go for a walk on the plane...
i sometimes wonder how can they keep so few washrooms for so many people...
what algorithm made them decide to have just 4 bathrooms!?! phew!!
so we all wait and wait and wait...
the whole flight thingie started getting me a weird sick feeling about cramped spaces...
the strange thing about such places is that, it makes me feel i m out of breath!
anyway so what else do i do in-flight...
i keep checking out the map...
it was exciting...seeing Greenland, Canada and finally US.
it actually doesnt make a difference..all through you just see the clouds and the feeling of floating persists :)
so then we all start filling our immigration and customs forms...
the journey was a thrilling one...and more importantly for me a very introspective one...
all that went through my mind...i wanted to have the time of my life here...

and so we land in the Hartsfield–Jackson airport :)
and then i just went with the flow, got done with the immigration...
and watching the signs...go down the escalator to collect my baggage...
i load them all onto my trolley and start proceeding only to know that i need to check in again before getting out of the airport!
good lord...
so after checking in...i go through another security check...
keeping track of all my items and collecting them was a pain...
i was exhausted to the core...i was so disoriented i just wanted to crash somewhere and get some good sleep...
and so i thought i will get my bags after the security check...
surprise surprise! i need to catch a metro...go 6 stations away...
and then get my bags!
i was sooo distraught...i couldnt decide if i was hallucinating or was it happening for real...
and so i go...and climbing through the escalator...i saw somebody smiling at me...
and then it struck me...my colleagues have come 2 pick me up...
aaah...finally the day starts to get better...i m so thankful they came :P
i don know for what reason...i just wanted to see some familiar face...what a relief..
and so my colleagues get me to my hotel...get me checked in...we have breakfast...
and i come to my room...
wow..it was quite a room :)
i tried to do everything to keep myself from sleeping...
the first thing i wanted to do was to get my net up and running...
so that i can inform family i have reached....
got that done...
but the sight of 2 huge bags to unpack kept me restless...
and so i start unpacking and simultaneously start setting up my new home :)
its almost like u have started a new life....
everything is new except urself...

and so for now...will keep posting more on my exps here...
thatz all for part 2 :)

--Shreya

My Onsite trip :P

So here is my story of my ever-so-dream-of-an-onsite:
i just yearned for it for so long, never saw it coming. And so it all started falling in place, or so it seemed ;)
This year has been eventful to say the least :)
My mgr got my visa processed. It happened with least of hassles, maybe thanks to the prayers of so many ppl :)
And i was to fly to Atlanta on 26th June. We(my parents and me) start packing, packing and more packing. The FIFA world cup was on. Dad and me would sit up late in the night to see FIFA and do my packing as well.
Incidently 90% of my predictions of the world cup came true. I almost acted like a clone of Paul ;)
And then 2 days before my travel, my client tells my mgr, I need to travel 2 weeks later!
Good god, was i dissappointed. That would be the least to explain my plight.
Ok, so i send multiple mails, to travel desk, hotel bookings, everyone, to reschedule my travel date.
The new travel date - 11th July.
So what do we do with the loads of snacks i bought.
Well, with FIFA around, late night TV viewing, dad and me - started hogging.
One packet at a time, thinking that would be the last. But soon we realise we have exhausted all snacks :D
Now, since most of my "nice-dresses" were all packed, i started getting them out and before i realized one suitcase was totally unpacked. :D
And, now i m almost there. The 11th July is just a few days away.
And so, i start packing again and start shopping for snacks too..
As they say, history repeats itself - 2 days before my travel i get to know 'again' i am not travelling and it would be on 2nd of Aug!
Good lord!
what the hell is what i was thinking.
My mom was furious - more worried of my dad's cholestrol increase after eating a 2nd round of snacks ;)
Ok, So this time, i m less dissappointed as i had been there, done that; kind of situation.
This time i unpack everything consciously and empty snacks too...
Finally and once for all the travel for 31st july does get confirmed!
Can you believe it! :P
So i was to set sail on 31st July 2010.
I just had 2 days to pack and finally and thankfully the pack unpack melodrama ended.
The last 2 days got sooo tense, i had to take backups of 2 machines, pack stuff, "shop" and what not!
And finally the D-Day arrives.
We book a cab, goto the airport. Well thatz what we thought we were headed.
My flight was at 615 IST.
We leave home by 2. Just to realize almost the entire blore is in a big jam.
I am yet to discover why the jam!
So our good good driver, keeps wading through different roads and finding more jams and trying really hard to evade them. So its nearly 4 and we are not even close to the airport.
My heart beat is racing, and my mom is saying a lot of stuff, none of which i could comprehend.
We finally reached the airport.
And then we dump everything, all my stuff onto the trolley...
Mom dad look a little distraught...i assumed probably they were tensed too..But in retrospect now, i think they were already missing me.
And then without even a second thought, i just drag the trolley inside and run off to check in et al...
Dad is frantically walking up and down outside only to find out where i am.
I finally finished my check in.
And then i try to go out. All this while, i dumbly assumed 'i' can go out even after check in. Well, hell no. I couldnt. :(
Damn dissapointed.. I wanted to hug mom and dad.. i couldnt :(
Anyway we spoke through the glass pane...and finally i set off to do my immigration and run towards my flight...
Finished it all without much hassle...
And then, i reach the gate. A lot of people just like me were all seated, waiting for them to all us board.
I was excited that it was really happening. Geee...I was a little shaken up, coz i wont be able to see mom and dad for another 3 months.
Anyway finally i get to board.
I got a seat next to the window...i was happy :D
I was like a little kid, all excited and happy to see the world first hand. This i would call my first flight. That last time i flew was when i

was 8. I can hardly recall the experience.
And i saw the containers containing all our bags. I was super excited to see them. The product i am working on actually does exist!!! lol
The flight then is about to depart, the engines start rolling and we start crawling on the runway and then in just a couple of minutes our flight takes off. Phew! what an experience....
I flew leaving the sunset behind me...well did i take it along with me, i wonder..
The best view was when we were still in an inclined position and i saw my lovely city and an even better sunset next to me...
The view is imprinted in my mind...an image i would never forget...
And then we flew and flew and flew...
Midway, over the sea near Pakistan, due to some rain or something, the whole plane starts wobbling...what a scare.. :P
And after some 6 hours we finally reach Dubai.
One of the best things of flying i found was that, the geography we studied in school, does exist big time...gee :D
Oh ya, midway from the flight, i did get to see some of those tiny islands near Dubai...

So this is part - 1 for now...
will post more ;)

--Shreya

The intangible memories....

The lingering of a long forgotten memory,
Am I clinging onto a bygone?
I wonder;

My memories are they real,
Or are they an illusion?
The intangible becomes concrete

I relive my life with my memories
A pause in time where,
The past, present and future merge;
It's an unknown zone in time

As time paused,
As i reminisce my sweet bitter memories;
I wonder if I am the participant,
Or the viewer?

Either way, am i different?
I still wonder...

I me myself

Who am I?
Am i the person you feel i am,
Or am i different?
Am i same as my soul?
Am i my emotions?
Or are they formed from me?

Am i different from my personality?
Or my profession, relationships et al represent me?
Is my identity the result of all my environment?
Or are the way they are 'coz of me?

I wonder which is the source
And which is the destination...
I feel I am the culmination of all
The subjective and the objective self lives within me


The world exists the way it does only
because i see it that way...
The world is a reflection of me..
I see you in myself
You have contributed to me being myself
And i see a part of myself in you
So are we inseparable?
Are we then really 'different'?

My soul finds it equillibrium
In understanding that the world is the whole of parts
And we are part of the whole
I learn and grow from the world around me
And I contribute to its growth too

My identity stems from my world and from my inner soul.

--Shreya

Withdrawal Symptoms!

I returned home yesterday after my short stint at IIMB.
The only feeling deep in my heart is a longing to go back to the campus. I m not even sure if i miss the campus more or the people. It was a totally different experience.
I tried to explaining to many of them why most of my classmates and me cried on the convocation day. But I just couldnt capture the feelings in words. Let me try here.

When i decided to join IIMB, I knew things were falling in place. I knew deep within me i was doing the right thing. The conviction was there deep within me.

From being a just-another-software-engineer to having got the modest beginning, it has been a journey i would never ever forget. I m just craving for more of the experience. The people i met -from profs, classmates, hostel-mates, plain strangers who helped me...man what an experience it was! Just loved every second of it. There were a zillion thrilling moments - from preparing my own balance sheet, P&L et al. It gives you a new high. It is like selecting clothes for your newborn. You cherish and love every bit of it. So, more-or-less i have evolved as a person. I am convinced that i love starting my own venture compared to anything. The feeling and knowledge of knowing it gives a new high.

So on the convocation day, i could see my old self and my new self merged into me. The transition was so subtle, i never realised it happening. And accepting the culmination of this merger, was a revelation unto me. There was a sudden surge of emotions i couldnt explain nor comprehend. There were faces around me who I probably would never get a chance to meet again. There is a bond with each of those faces. We as a group were winning. The victory of your inner self over the world. This platform gave us the jump to face each challenge in the real life.

The campus always gave the feeling of hope, of security and excitement. I wouldnt cringe to walk at 1 am by myself on campus (except for the dogs). The people are so helpful - they helped me from shooing away lizards to critiquing on my business plan. The people here are both my classmates to complete strangers. The place exudes a positivity nothing else can match. Love you IIMB!!

A big thanks to all those who made a huge difference in my life - from my dearest friends to our awesome, super-cool profs to Amul bhaiyya to our Mess uncle.

Miss you all tooo much... Wish the programme never ended...

--Shreya

How many hands are in here??

Where is the child in me!

How many times i must have asked this question to myself i wonder.

One thing i have observed is that, all adults without exception are just children with a mask on!

Some people are just brave enough to be stupid, innocent and be themselves honestly. While most others pretending to hide their childlike qualities end up cheating themselves. What good is being an adult if you cant retain the child within you.

What attracts me most to children is that they hardly care what others would end up thinking about them. They are just plainly happy in their fantasy world. The world which comprises of themselves and only those things/people who keep them happy.

Isn't it the simplest way to lead a life! I guess half the world's problems would end if people just "chose" to be happy.

Is age the only factor distinguishes a child from an adult. A big No :)

I feel maturity is in knowing and understanding things which are in our control and ignoring the rest. I also feel that maturity has a lot to do with experience and ability to think wise.

If given a choice do i want to become a child again. Well, partly yes and partly no.

I like being at my age where atleast certain things are in my control rather than with "adults" :D

Things which i miss is maybe being pampered to start with :P

i also want to remain innocent and oblivious of whatever is happening around me as long as i m happy :D :)
Just being oblivious of many of the worldy matters keeps us in peace. Doesnt  it?
Somewhere deep down i feel that is a way to be closest to God.
Who is thee who cant seek God within thyself. Didnt God create us all to be just a child.
Did we humans outsmart God's expectation or are we just confused.
Is being simple the most difficult thing. I wonder..

--Shreya
29-Mar-10

Is Beauty an overrated concept?

To start off, what does beauty mean to each of us? Is it a state of mind, perception or per se something measurable? Do we consider ourselves beautiful? Pretty tough one to answer I agree. And there is no structured definition to understand beauty.
In a general sense, what appeals to our eyes and minds probably would be closest to calling beautiful. In India, beauty is increasingly getting associated with certain pre-defined characteristics. Beauty is synonymously used with being fair. The entire world is moving towards appreciating and loving dusky beauty, and India is moving exactly in the opposite direction.
India has witnessed probably the maximum number of fairness creams in the world. No surprises here. More than half the nation is wildly thronging the market for it. Fairness creams are increasingly marketed with a strong negative message. Does fairness really contribute to success in life? And how effective are these products?
Is it actually measurable by a common man how his complexion has changed? And marketing of these products have a clear intent to convey the message that being fair gives you an extra advantage in life. Each Ad is competing relentlessly to prove that using their product would get you a better job, better husband and what not! Are we so shallow in our thinking to accept this?  Or is this a hard truth which all of us accept deep down? Why do we want to convey a message saying good looks gets us a better chance to success? From a teenager to the old, everyone seems to be hooked to these fairness creams. Where have the tall, “dark”, handsome men gone? Why are we now insisting on fairer men? A small discussion with a dermatologist would confirm that you can only prevent a tan and not become fair. Even the educated and intelligent Indian is obsessed with fairness.
From the filmdom to a matrimonial hunt, everybody has a predefined picture of a success material. Every director wants the prettiest female as a leading lady. Every man wants his wife to be an “Aishwarya Rai”!! Are we so shallow in our thinking that we measure abilities in terms of “perspective beauty”?

I now wonder if a beautiful and fair person would stand better opportunities in life. In India, the chances are really high. From kindergarten to work place, good looks always get an extra edge. Many of us would scream our heart out saying it is unfair but deep down; we are part of this unfair discrimination.

According to me, Beauty is the depiction of the purity of spirit. As the famous phrase says it, “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”, beauty is subjective. There is no accepted form to declare someone beautiful. I really wish people would judge beauty beneath the skin, rather than the perishable complexion.

Shreya,
17-Mar-10

For Chetan Bhagat :(

First of all Happy New Year!

I am just shocked by what is happening around!!

I have been so outdated i never realised such great injustice was happening around me until my cousin called me about it.

How much i adore Chetan Bhagat and i know millions feel the same about him.

We all Indian youth connect to him. Why, coz we all go through the similar experiences in his books. When his book's lead goes through a frustration, we connect to it. When he falls in love we connect to it. We connect to every inch of his books, because there is a part of us in it. There is a part of everyone in it.

How could Aamir Khan say that so bluntly and obviously with no regret whatsoever. I am deeply hurt by his attitude mainly coz only a creative person can understand another's pain.

As Chetan aptly puts it in his blog, "Imagine someone takes your child, dresses him up and tells the world it is theirs.". I cant imagine what pain he must have gone through. It does feel devastating. This despite the fact that the whole world is a witness to the truth and yet we let people go around preaching otherwise.

What was Aamir thinking when he was supporting his writer. Did he expect the whole world to fall for some insane sympathy vote for an unrecognised writer. Ofcourse there would be none for an open plagiarism!

While browsing through channels, i found a journalist interviewing Chetan on the incident.

How insensitive must she be to ask him "What change would make you happy. Did they pay you enough compensation.". In heaven's name lady! Hats off to Chetan for being so patient answering all those questions. Giving credit is a duty. He needn't ask for it. It is his right. Money doesnt heal a hurt. The pride in knowing it is what he wrote is successful is a different experience.

What would somebody understand why he wrote the book and what it means to him. It is like sucking oxygen out of your lungs. Why do we live in a society where we tolerate such acts.

To be honest, Chetan is famous and people know the truth.

What would someone else less famous have a case.

Do we all dream of a society where we live fearlessly and proudly thinking i would never be cheated.

This is not just an issue of stealing of an idea. It is how moralistic we are. What is Aamir telling the world. Are we setting an example that it is ok to steal and take pride in it.

What do we all work for. At the end of the day if we cannot make peace with ourselves what are we living for.

When i hear people say that "Yeah India is like this. It would never change".

I just feel like shaking them up violently and ask them to do something about it. How much are we people going to speak about injustice and what is wrong and why things would not change. Every change requires an earnest mind. It requires a belief. A belief so strong that a change would come along on its own. If we believe Aamir is wrong what are we doing about it.

The "let it be" attitude has gotta change.

You feel there is something wrong in the system. Get to the roots of it. Change it. Whoever said things come easy in life. When you cant clean the shit of your land, better not crib about it either.

I really hope a change comes around.

Thanks Chetan for writing such wonderful books.

May God's blessings be with you.

--Shreya